The so inappropriate woman....

So I decided to tell you guys the story of going under the anaesthesia. It is funny I think, but highly non-PC. So be forewarned.

So Haggen-Daz man is wheeling me in the OR and we are chatting about Micheal Jackson and his love of the milk. We get in the room and I have already had the "party juice", so Liz who is already not so PC, goes even further into the realm. I make sure to tell everyone that some highly inappropriate things will probably come out of my mouth. They assure me it will be alright and that they basically love talking to drunk/drugged patients. So they tell me to slide off the hospital bed I am on, to the extremely narrow board like bed with the arms coming off the sides. All I can think of is lethal injections. I swear it looked just like in the movies, I was waiting for them to open a curtain and every person I was ever mean to in High School would be sitting there! So I realize I need to get these thoughts out of my head. I tell them how it is really screwy that the table is so narrow, I mean my skinniest of my friends would have had some side hang. I told them BARIATRIC surgery should equal a big OR table. They just laughed.

Then they velcroed down my arms on the boards coming off the sides of the table. Haggen-Daz asked me if I would like to sit up some and I said "yes". So (and here is the inappropriate part) he starts to automatically lift the entire table up so that my head is being raised. All I could think about was Jesus on the Cross. So I started singing "Jesus Christ Super Star" and proclaiming myself Jesus Christ reincarnated. I know so inappropriate. The next thing I knew Haggen-Daz said he was giving me some fresh air, and I was out. I don't remember counting or anything! I am just sure they were all glad I shut up. I think I might need to go to church now!