Yesterday I ended up unexpectedly at the surgeons office. My largest incision opened up and it troubled me to see a hole in my stomach so I called. I find it funny still, that the nurse asked me after telling her the incision was open, "Do you want to come in"? Nahhh, I think it's normal to see inside myself, rather cool too. I mean come on! So I went in and apparently it really is no big deal! Just have to keep a bandage on it. So far on their scale I have lost 25lbs! Can I get a woot woot! I was glad to see the loss on their scale because my scale is not being so friendly. It has not done anything but go up 2lbs, but there are lots of things making that happen, so no worries and none of them are things I can do anything about. Their scale means more to me anyways because I was weighed on it the day before the liver shrink diet so it's accurate.
Now to the idiot part. While sitting for an hour in the waiting room waiting to be seen. It got very crowded, I mean not a seat left. Let me explain to you my surgeon does all types of surgeries but it is apparent by his clientele that WLS is his bread and butter. So a rather larger lady sits down beside me and across from me is another large lady. I am just sitting there day dreaming and the lady across from me, lets call her "Patty" starts asking the lady next to me a bunch of questions.
"You had your surgery yet?" asks Patty (how rude, I mean what if she just had gallstones!)
"No, just here for my consult" says nice shy woman
"I had mine, lost 51lbs since May." say Patty proudly
"Well I can't decide rather to get the bypass or the band" says the nice lady. Both Patty and I jump in and assure her to get the band. So the lady asks me when I got mine, and I told her. Told her about the surgery ect.
Patty's dumb ass looks at me and says and I quote, "You puked yet?" OK, WTF! I am like, "no".
"I puke at least twice a day." Says Patty almost proudly.
"Why, do you eat too fast?" I ask
"Yeah, I eat too fast, and I try lots of things. Like the other night my family had steak, so I decided to try a little piece. Girl it got so stuck they had to call the volunteer Firefighters to come give me the heimlich."
OK, dumb ass the first thing they tell you in the seminar, NO STEAK, NO BREAD! Well at this point I am still fascinated as to why Patty pukes. So I ask Pukey Patty, "How come you throw up, I mean I know you eat too fast, but what happens." She says, "I eat too fast, then there is no room for any food to go anywhere, so it gets stuck. So I drink some water to try and get it down but the water can't go anywhere so I just throw it up!" She then proceeds to tell me how she eats WHATEVER she wants, that she refuses to starve to death. So she mashes up spaghetti and eats it, yogurt (a no no once on whole foods), sandwiches, cereal etc, etc. How she ate half a giant cookie last night, and ate the other half for breakfast. This woman was an idiot and she was sitting there telling these people this who have yet to have the surgery! After all this Pukey Patty says how mad she is that she just can't lose her stomach (while grabbing it and shaking it), she carries all her weight there and it just will not go away. OK people have you seen me? I have an appendage hanging off the front of me called my stomach, it is the biggest source of my weight, so yeah I get it Pukey Patty. But not 5 minutes earlier you told me you lost 51 pounds since May. She then says well my stomach used to be out here and she mimics the space. I said, well it seems you are in fact then losing your stomach, I guess things just take time. Thank God they called my name next, this woman drove me nuts! There was also a lady out there (Pukey Patty's seatmate) talking about how she knew she had gained weight because, last week such and such was in the hospital and all she could keep down was M&M's! I mean come on, when was the last time your stomach hurt and you said to yourself, "Eureka, I think M&M's will work"! And also how many M&M's did you have to eat to actually gain weight? Thank God they called me name next, these women drove me nuts!
The rest of the visit went well, I go back in 2 weeks and I get my first fill into my band on Sept. 16th. I am slightly worried, because I believe right now I have no restriction. Meaning most of the swelling is gone and my band is not tight at all, allowing for anything to go down, also allowing me to get hungry. Now I am going to not try and test my theory. I feel that right now, even giving me a taste of food would possible send me right back to where I was before. You know the seen in Twilight where Edward tells Bella, "You're like a drug to me. Like my own personal brand of heroin." I could easily say that to a New York strip. So I will continue to do my best until the 16th of Sept. and JUST SAY NO!!!!!!!!
